Blown Away by K'Anne Meinel

Author:K'Anne Meinel
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781508553663
Publisher: Shadoe Publishing
Published: 2015-06-21T03:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

EXPLANATIONS

Ellen sat up, pulling the sheet up with her. She brushed her hair back off her face. Looking at Rae she knew at that moment what it was to love another person besides Ryan. She didn’t want to lose Rae, but she had to be honest with her. They had just shared an incredible experience. She’d had an epiphany of sorts. She could give of herself without giving up her control; or rather she could give up control, and fully give of herself. It was very enlightening. She owed this woman, who she loved, the truth, the whole truth.

“What do you mean?” Rae asked almost fearfully as she sat up, pulling the sheet up to wrap herself in it and hide her nudity. Had she gone too far? Was Ellen going to kick her out?

Ellen heard the trepidation in her girlfriend’s voice. Smiling she reached out to cup Rae’s beautiful face and lean in to kiss her. She could smell the sex between them. In fact the room reeked of it. It was the sweetest perfume she had smelled in a very long time. “Please don’t worry babe, I love you,” she said comfortingly. “I wasn’t just saying it in the throes,” she reminded her with a shy little smile.

Rae wanted to laugh with joy. She hadn’t been sure that Ellen would remember what she said as she came over and over again in her arms. Her heart had soared at finally hearing her say it, but to have it repeated and so easily made her want to cry with joy. Her eyes teared up at the sentiment. “I love you too,” she told her to be clear.

Ellen kissed her again and leaned her forehead against her. “Let’s be honest, always,” she whispered.

“Always,” Rae agreed. “What did you mean a moment ago?”

Ellen wished she hadn’t said anything. She’d spoken her thoughts aloud and should have waited for a more appropriate time. Not when they were both naked, and vulnerable. “I want to tell you my story. Something I never told Ryan. Something I never told my therapist even,” she started.

“You don’t have to…” Rae cautioned her but Ellen caressed the side of her head. Rae couldn’t help but lean into the affectionate hand that pleasured her so well.

“I want to, it’s time. I’m scared though that you might not like what I’m going to tell you,” she said sadly. She had to take a chance. She had to be honest, perhaps for the first time in her life. She loved Rae too much to keep parts of her hidden anymore.

“What, did you kill someone?” Rae teased to lighten the mood.

Ellen nodded and said, “Yes.” Nothing more, just simply, ‘Yes.’

Rae waited for the punchline. It didn’t come. Ellen’s voice hadn’t been teasing. She stared at her lover and waited. The wait went on too long and she asked, “You were kidding, right?”

Ellen shook her head. She was waiting for the rejection she was sure was going to come. Her heart was beating wildly and she wondered if Rae knew CPR, in case she had a heart-attack.

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